Name: Yunyoung Kim
Date: Wed, July 7th
Barcelona: My Dream Place to Live
One day, a friend of mine called me and asked if I wanted to join them, a short trip to Barcelona. I made a sudden decision but I realized that I had little knowledge about this city. However, after this short break, Barcelona became one of my dream places to live. First, Barcelona is a city with a Mediterranean climate. As soon as we arrived there, we spent time lying on the beach and taking a nap under the dazzling sunshine. Also, the weather couldn't have been better whenever we went sightseeing to the world-famous Antoni Gaudi's structures. Also, the food was great and one of them was paella. We tried three paellas with chicken, seafood, and squid ink. At first, I was reluctant to taste the squid ink one because it was completely black. However, it was so savory, completely contrary to my expectation. When we almost finished our meal, the waiter who served us came to us again and we started chatting. It seemed like he had forgotten that he was working as a waiter and became a normal student while we were talking. We shared our thoughts about the trip, our interests, our goals, and so many other things. After that, we went out for drinks at a bar and became real friends. Barcelona was a perfect spot for me with the mild climate, sunny weather, and charming people who know how to enjoy tasty food from their fresh ingredients.
Celebrating Chuseok in a Different Way
Last October, three Korean girls put out their heads together to make a plan for coming Chuseok. Yunyoung, Jinyoung, and Jooyoung would normally celebrate and spend time with their family, but they were staying in London at that time. Finally, they decided to have a special party with their foreign friends. Jooyoung's place in Notting Hill was selected as the party venue and they started to get ready for the party by making some phone calls to invite their close friends. After inviting five friends, they went to Korean supermarket. They bought some chicken, rice cake, drinks, fruits, vegetables, and their favorite Häagen-Dazs strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Back in the kitchen, they cooked two main menus: Spicy Chicken Stew and Tteokbokki. Printing the recipes out and cooking with the fresh ingredients, they did their best even though they were not good cooks. When the food was sizzling in the pan, their friends arrived one after another. Their eyes were full of curiosity. "The food is ready," said Jinyoung. As soon as she finished her word, five hungry guests gathered around the table. One of them knew how to say Bon appétit in Korean, jal meokkesseumnida, so all of them spoke it in chorus and started eating. Fortunately, they really like the food and three novice cooks felt relieved and proud. After the dinner, they had some fruits and ice cream for dessert and stayed up all night talking and giggling. It was a bit far from the traditional celebration, but a perfect party ever in terms of having a meal with people who they care about so much.
Hotmail: Free, trusted and rich email service. Get it now.
I really enjoyed these two pieces of writing, especially it is about food!;)
ReplyDeleteFor the first one about Barcelona, I like the way how you started the first part. It is very clear and simple.
And the part, which you described the beach, I can even picture how it looks like, even though I have never been there. But you used the word "real friends", which is bit unclear to me, I mean, what is "real friends"? I think if you put some explanation for that or choose another word, it will be more clearer sentence.
You wrote about your special experience in London, and it is about food!(Yay!)I think you did a good job with EQUIP things, such as Häagen-Dazs strawberry cheesecake instead of using just ice cream, and Spicy Chicken Stew and Tteokbokki instead food. I like it because it helps me to picture it and get concentrated on reading.
But when I read the first and second sentences, I have to get back to the first sentence and read it again. Because I wasn't so sure who "They" you referred to.
I mean, "Yunyoung, Jinyoung, and Jooyoung would normally celebrate and spend time with their family, but they were staying in London at that time. "
in this part, did you mean "they" as Yunyoung, Jinyoung, and Jooyoung or their family?
Of course I found out when I read it more, but I think it can be clearer if you use another words like "those three girls" or something like that.
1. What I like about this piece of writing is your descriptive and detailed explanations about the city you want to live. Your main point seems to be attractive factors that make you want to live in Barcelona. I like the hook part, because you start the paragraph with your experience, which made me want to read it. You are also using many experiences of yours to show why the city is so attractive to you, and I think it really worked fine. But it would be better if you added some more detailed information about something you mentioned, such as Antoni Gaudi's structures and paellas. And compared to the interesting contents, the subject is kind of weak. If you change the subject shorter and stronger, I think this will be greater writing.
ReplyDelete2.It seems that you had such a special and fun Chusuk in London. What I like most in this piece of writing is that you are talking about your own experience as another person’s one. It’s very interesting and I like it. This was written by well-organized time order, so it was easy and interesting for me to read this paragraph. You are using quotes like "The food is ready," or jal meokkesseumnida, and I think that helps you to make this paragraph as a good narrative writing. But the subject sounds not so interesting in this one, too, so it’s better to change it. And I also think it would have been better if you had added some details about traditional Chusuk, like what we usually do on that day, because it can be confusing for some readers to understand why you threw such a party.
200603322 Hyun Kyoung Cha
ReplyDelete1.
-What I like about this piece of writing is, how you described Barcelona.
-Your main point seems to be that Barcelona is a real cool place!
-These particular words struck me as powerful: "we spent time lying on the beach and taking a nap under the dazzling sunshine." I liked how you described the atmosphere there, and especially the expression "dazzling sunshine"
-This part could be improved: you said "after this short break", but I don't understand what the break means.
-The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement is "Also, the weather couldn't have been better whenever we went sightseeing to the world-famous Antoni Gaudi's structures." You could have explained a little bit more than just finishing with this sentence.
2.
-What I like about this piece of writing is, your description of all the food. yumyum
-Your main point seems to be that you had a good Chuseok in London with your friends.
-These particular words struck me as powerful:"One of them knew how to say Bon appétit in Korean, jal meokkesseumnida, so all of them spoke it in chorus and started eating." It was fascinating to know that a person who is not from Korea knows how to say that!
-This part could be improved: "Printing the recipes out and cooking with the fresh ingredients" It sounds as if you're doing both at the same time.
-The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement is you could have described the food a bit more.