My favorite room in my house in Ulsan is my parent's room. We formally call it as the parent's room, but my father usually uses his study room during the day time so it's only me and my mother who use the room. It's located at the very end of the house, so I have to walk for about 20 steps to rich the door. I've always liked the room which is far from the entrance door because that was one of the way how I felt safe psychologically. When you open the door there's a queen size bed at the middle of the room with very cozy looking blanket and pillows. Right in front of the bed there's a small television, but has all the channels you need, and at the right there's a brown shelf full of books and DVDs. Next to the shelf there's another door, and when you slide open the door there's a dressing room and a bathroom. Everything can be done in this room; you can sleep, watch TV, read books, get dressed, and clean myself up. Every time when I go through a tough day, I always miss the warm and comfort feeling of my parent's room.
What I like about this piece of writing is: how you explained the space of your house.
ReplyDeleteYour main point seems to be: that you like your parent's room the most.
These particular words struck me as powerful: "I like the room which is far from the entrance" because I kind of feel the same way too.
"walk 20 steps to reach the door" because it sounds cute, as if you really counted them inside your own house.
These lines or parts could be improved: you could have described the dressing room or bathroom a little more.
The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this writing is: using a bit more adjectives.
Hyun Kyoung Cha
Your main point of this writing seems to be a room that you love the most, and I really like the way you described the room precisely. I can imagine how the room really looks like.
ReplyDeleteI like your expression 'cozy looking blanket and pillows', because it even makes me want to be in that room.
'Everything can be done in this room' This is also one of my favorite parts in your writing, since I can understand why you love the room so much reading this sentence.
But I think you can give more details about the room, because it seems to have something more to describe. Or you could add some memories about the room, since it will make me understand your affection to the room more.
With some more details, this will be a much better piece of writing, i think.