June 30, 2010
Ho Won Lee
An Ideal English Teacher
An ideal English teach should be moral. For example, one should be fully committed to teaching without having other things in mind such as wasting time doing inefficient stuff and losing track of the class schedule by doing irrelevant stuff outside the course guideline. Also, one should be sincere to oneself in a sense that one will be responsible for developing the students in the course that one is teaching. In addition, the teacher's motivation to teach should solely come from guiding the students in an academic way without intervening one's emotions or personal desires. To rephrase this, the teacher should only be focused on teaching during the period of instruction. Lastly, the teacher should treat and evaluate the students in a fair and appropriate way without hurting the students mentally and physically. This means no physical contact and profanities or no abusive language of any kind being tolerated. If one makes such mistakes, one should be responsible for one's actions and apologize deeply to the victim. No matter how skillful and educated a teacher is, if one hurts the students in an immoral way, one has given a painful memory to the student that will be a scar to the student eternally which will have a disastrous effect on the student's positive growth; and this will outweigh any kind of academic knowledge the student would have gained no matter how sophisticated the material might be. Consequently, the most important characteristic of an ideal teacher would be the level of morality of the educator.
The Worst Waiter
The worst waiter that I encountered was the rudest service worker that I have faced in my short life and I cannot wait to tell you about this. I met the waiter in a restaurant called "Spring Rolls" in Canada. Her first impression was very cold as an undertaker so I didn't expect a good service from her in the first place, thus I decided to be psychologically as prepared as possible by being as magnanimous as I can. While I was sensing her mysterious enmity against me and keeping my composure and guard at a highest level spontaneously, she did something that I never saw come. Just when I was least expecting it, she held my chair with me sitting on it and moved it aside like a bag of garbage as she took the dishes away. Believe me, I have faced people who went as far as they can go to be rude verbally during a service but this was the first time I met someone who swiftly used one's physical force to make me feel devalued. Her quiet action had a thousand times stronger effect than a verbal confrontation. The server at Spring Rolls is the waitress who I pick as the most infamous waitress I have encountered who planted a fear of females in my psyche.
An ideal English teacher
ReplyDeleteI think here you are talking about the morality of a teacher. I think you have a firm idea about being a moral teacher, I liked the parts how you firmly explained the reasons of your thoughts. But I think you used too many "one" through out the paragraphs. For example, "Also, one should be sincere to oneself in a sense that one will be responsible for developing the students in the course that one is teaching." I think it would be better if you could find a word or phrase to replace some of the "one" And I am little bit confused about the title. Because I don't think you are exactly talking about the ideal "English" teacher. Your writing would be improved if the topic sentence is little bit more interesting.
The worst waiter
I think you are mainly talking about the worst waiteress you've met in Canda. I liked the part how you explained your first impression of her becuase it was easier for me to guess how she would be, even before I read the rest of the writing. The part that I was little confused was where you said "Her quiet action had a thousand..." Because if you were angry about her action and if she was able to move your chair while you were sitting on it, I don't think it was a quite action. Also I think this writing could be improved if you add more details about how you got verbally attacked by other waiters. In that way i think the impact of the physical force could be stronger
An ideal English teacher
ReplyDeleteI think here you are talking about the morality of a teacher. I think you have a firm idea about being a moral teacher, I liked the parts how you firmly explained the reasons of your thoughts. But I think you used too many "one" through out the paragraphs. For example, "Also, one should be sincere to oneself in a sense that one will be responsible for developing the students in the course that one is teaching." I think it would be better if you could find a word or phrase to replace some of the "one" And I am little bit confused about the title. Because I don't think you are exactly talking about the ideal "English" teacher. Your writing would be improved if the topic sentence is little bit more interesting.
The worst waiter
I think you are mainly talking about the worst waiteress you've met in Canda. I liked the part how you explained your first impression of her becuase it was easier for me to guess how she would be, even before I read the rest of the writing. The part that I was little confused was where you said "Her quiet action had a thousand..." Because if you were angry about her action and if she was able to move your chair while you were sitting on it, I don't think it was a quite action. Also I think this writing could be improved if you add more details about how you got verbally attacked by other waiters. In that way i think the impact of the physical force could be stronger
An ideal English teacher
ReplyDeleteI think here you are talking about the morality of a teacher. I think you have a firm idea about being a moral teacher, I liked the parts how you firmly explained the reasons of your thoughts. But I think you used too many "one" through out the paragraphs. For example, "Also, one should be sincere to oneself in a sense that one will be responsible for developing the students in the course that one is teaching." I think it would be better if you could find a word or phrase to replace some of the "one" And I am little bit confused about the title. Because I don't think you are exactly talking about the ideal "English" teacher. Your writing would be improved if the topic sentence is little bit more interesting.
The worst waiter
I think you are mainly talking about the worst waiteress you've met in Canda. I liked the part how you explained your first impression of her becuase it was easier for me to guess how she would be, even before I read the rest of the writing. The part that I was little confused was where you said "Her quiet action had a thousand..." Because if you were angry about her action and if she was able to move your chair while you were sitting on it, I don't think it was a quite action. Also I think this writing could be improved if you add more details about how you got verbally attacked by other waiters. In that way i think the impact of the physical force could be stronger
Feedback on "An Ideal English Teacher"
ReplyDelete1. I really like the fact that you made it very clear on what you think about an Ideal teacher. Some people find it hard to be firm on their opinions and are afraid that their writing might not be liked by others. But, the way you strongly represented your individual opnion is very impressive.
2. Your main point seems to be that an ideal english teacher should be moral.
3. The word "educator" stuck as poweful to me because most of the other words to describe the "teacher" were "one", or "student(s)"., So it was refreshing to read the new word insteach of the words you were repeating.
4. "the teacher should treat and evaluate the students in a fair and appropriate way without hurting the students mentally and physically. This means no physical contact and profanities or no abusive language of any kind being tolerated."
If I look at these two related sentences, the second sentence does not support the previous sentence respectively.
5. The best way to improve this paragraph is to proof read it over and over again, maybe 2 or 3 times, to correct small structural mistakes.
Feedback on "The Worst Waiter"
1. I really like taht you have put your strong emotion to this writing. I felt like I was being devalued by this rude worker.
2. Your main point seems to be the rudest service worker you've ever met is in a restaurant called "Sprill Rolls" in Canada and she made you feel very disgusted.
3. "Just when I was least expecting it, she held my chair with me sitting on it and moved it aside like a bag of garbage..." This sentence made me relive that moment that you were in. I could clearly see and feel how you might have experienced.
4. "she did something that I never saw come" Just a simple grammatical mistake got me confused for a split second. I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I think "come" should be changed to "coming"
5. The best way to improve this paragraph is to focus a little more on providing factual examples =)