starts to serve the country. The lyrics of the song are in the format of his solitary monologue expressing feelings of his sorrow and loneliness. In the beginning, the song starts with elegiac melody of a harmonica and a guitar along with the lyrics describing the situation he gives farewell adress to his parents and friends. Then the song keeps its melody with the private's resolute feeling about the fact that he is now a soldier. My favorite part of this song is at the last that says 'Now it starts again, the dreams of young days'. Everytime I listen to this music, I recall memorie of times when I was a private in the military. I was so lonely at that time so this song always made me cry. However, I had to gulp my tears because privates were not allowed to cry. The sad voice of Kim Kwang Suk always thouches a cord in my heart everytime I listen to it.
Can you please delete the one below ㅜㅜ
1. What I like about this piece of writing is appropriate use of adjectives to describe the topic
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems to be that your favorite piece of music 'Letter from a private' reminds you of the days of military service.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
Words or lines
- 'I had to gulp my tears because privates were not allowed to cry.'
- 'The lyrics of the song are in the format of his solitary monologue expressing feelings of his sorrow and loneliness.'
I like them because
those lines 'intactly' transfer the pain caused by the author's personal experience
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
Everything seems clear for me.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is
Nicely done, mate!
I think you are talking about a song which touches you because it reminds of you some memories when you were in military service. I really like the part you describe the detail about the song such as its melody and lyrics.
ReplyDelete'The lyrics of the song are in the format of his solitary monologue expressing feelings of his sorrow and loneliness.' This is one of the lines I liked, because it explains the great lyrics of that song well. And I liked you translation of the lyrics as well, which is 'Now it starts again, the dreams of young days'. Above all, it was really impressive that you 'had to gulp tears because privates were not allowed to cry.'
But it should have been better if you give a little more details about your favorite part, what it really means.
And I thought the last sentence is not so good as the rest of your writing. That's because you were mainly talking about how the song made you cry, but you conclude that Kim's voice always touches you.
This is a good writing, but if you can change the concluding sentence a bit, it should be much better!