Name: Yunyoung Kim
Date: Tue, June 29th
What makes an ideal physician?
A physician is regarded as one of the most important jobs in the world because they deal with people's lives. However, it does not mean that all physicians are respectful. Then, what makes an ideal physician such as Albert Schweitzer? First of all, an ideal doctor is confident. A doctor's job is to cure people of illness, so they know how to examine the patients and threat their illnesses with their specialized knowledge. Also, a doctor's confidence makes patients relief that they can be cured soon enough. Second, a good physician is conscientious. They usually work more than 40 hours a week, taking care of the patients, prescribing medication and many other things. They are diligent, hard-working, and persistent because even a single mistake can be critical in the medical world. Finally, a good doctor is humane. A compassionate doctor knows how to communicate with the patients. Doctors try to understand how much the patients suffer from not only physically, but also mentally by interacting with them. Those patient-centered minds could have dramatic effects on patients' recovery. To sum up, ideal physicians need to be confident in what they are doing, thorough, and personal and those are what every patient wants.
Top Tips for finding a Flat in London
When I was in London last year, my contract with the host family had finished, so I decided to move out and find a flat for rent. At first, I had no idea what to do, so I asked my friends for help. First of all, you need to go online and check several property sites to find some places and make some phone calls if those rooms are available or not. Do not choose your room only based on the photos on the websites. People can upload old ones or make them somehow look better than it is, so you need to also consider other factors including the distance from your school, accessibility of public transportation, and being furnished or unfurnished. If some conditions are met, you can make an appointment. Next, meet your landlord and check your room and other facilities in the house. It is useful to have someone with you, so you can get advice particularly when you view the room. You need to ask as many as questions as you can involving if you need any furniture to bring with you, if something is broken or if they have any problems with neighbors. Then, try all the taps in the kitchen and the bathroom and check the water pressure. It is advisable to have a look around in the area if it is safe when it is dark. Finally, when you made up your mind after a thorough going-over for a few days, now you need some paperwork to do. Make sure you have all the documents and details with you and you need to pay a deposit on that day. Once it is signed and sealed, you are supposed to stay there, so try not to choose your first flat right after you see the room. Otherwise, you will probably regret it later when you compare it with other flats. After a long flat hunting, finally you found the best one for the time being, so content yourself with your new flat and enjoy your days.
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Example Paragraph
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this writing isthe easy flow. The words, First, second, third helped me to follow your writing.
2. Your main point seems to be that a good physician needs three qualifications; confidence, conscientious and humane.
3. "A compassionate doctor knows how to communicate with the patients"
- I could understand how a doctor can be compassionate.
"To sum up, ideal physicians need to be confident in what they are doing, thorough, and personal and those are what every patient wants"
- The concluding sentence is very clear and restates the topic.
4. "threat their illnesses with their specialized knowledge"
- The word threat feels like the doctor is somehow blackmailing the patient.
5. Giving more examples such as how the doctors communicate with their patients would make the paragraph more stronger.
Process Paragraph
1. I like this writing because it gives me really good tips about how to get a flat and those tips are even useful for renting apartments in Korea.
2. Your main point seems to be that there are several steps required besides just the flat itself but also the surroundings.
3. "After a long flat hunting,"- I like the part about "hunting." It shows that how hard you have been searching for a right flat.
"Then, try all the taps in the kitchen and the bathroom and check the water pressure." - Even though his information is very essential, it was hard for me to think of. The writer gave a lot of useful tips.
4. "Once it is signed and sealed, you are supposed to stay there, so try not to choose your first flat right after you see the room"
- I couldn't understand the part that you have to stay here. Does it mean as soon as you sign it you have to move in immediately?
5. Extra information about the paper work would be better, since the documents are the most important thing in the process.
Thank you.:)
Paragraph 1
ReplyDeleteI like this writing because it's clear and simple (what the professor emphasizes..). Also, you picked up really good points about ideal physician too. Confidence and compassion! I really agree with that point!
I like the introduction part mentioning a famous doctor, Albert Schweitzer. It makes readers guess what kind of things you will mention in the middle of this paragraph.
I think you can use Albert Schweitzer more for the body part too. Since he was confident and compassinate, so you can use some stories from his stories. Or you can think about your experience if you've met some ideal doctors in your life. It will make your writing more interesting!
Paragraph 2
It shows you really have an experience of renting apartment. It has important points for finding a good place and good explanation for each step too. Since you mentioned it's from your expereience in the beginning of this paragraph, it makes this reliable too.
I think you can make the ending part more impressive.. You can say whether you found a good place in London or not... So you can make it more persuasive if you succeeded or you can appeal the importance of those steps saying you had hard time after finding a bad place.